Psalm 1

Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

Back on track...

After getting out of my bible reading routine (and consequently becoming distanced from Him) I opened the Word of God today with a receptive heart and he has spoken so clearly through Jeremiah 17...

"Cursed is the man who trusts in man
and makes flesh his strength,
whose heart turns away from the Lord.
He is like a shrub in the desert,
and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
in an uninhabited salt land." vs 5-6

This pretty much explains the place I have been in for many months now... looking to people for help, love and acceptance. Of course these are things that can only be perfectly done by God alone. No one else can fill my deepest desires or answer my prayers.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat come,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit." vs 7-8

This is the place I long to be in! A tree nourished by living waters that remains unharmed no matter what the weather conditions throw at it. Roots that go so deep that nothing can move it ever.

"The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
I the Lord search the heart
and test the mind,
to every man according to his ways,
according to the fruit of his deeds." vs 9-10

I cannot trust myself and the ever fleeting emotions that come and go. My heart is "desperately sick" and the only cure is my Lord Jesus coming in and taking His rightful place in my heart. Ah the beauty of having a heart beating in tune with His own... May this always be my aim, each and every day. Now that my bible is open once again I hope it never closes and I long to drink in the delights and chastisement needed to refine and purify my wicked being to be perfected in Him.

"A glorious throne set on high from the beginning
is the place of our sanctuary...
Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed;
save me, and I shall be saved,
for you are my praise." vs 12, 14

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14

Seeking approval

Amy Carmichael's wisdom again...

"If the praise of others elates me...
if the blame of others depresses me...
if I cannot rest when I am misunderstood, without defending myself...
if I love to be loved, more than to give love...
if I love to be served, more than serving...
then I know nothing of Calvary's love"

Talk about get me where it hurts! Ah to know Calvary's love, my heart's greatest desire!

A heart after His own

I am reading a book by Amy Carmichael "Gold Cord". There is a part that has moved me, she is quoting a letter she received:

"I have stood, as it were, on the edge of His sea of suffering, and have hastily diverted myself with something else, lest He should call me to enter that sea with Him. And yet there is nothing I long more to do. To me there is no more tragic sight than the average missionary. A Hindu bowing down to his idol leaves me unmoved beside it. We have given so much, yet not the one thing that counts; we aspire so high, and fall so low; we suffer so much, but so seldom with Christ; we have done so much, but so little will remain; we have known Christ in part, and have so effectively barricaded our hearts against His mighty love, which surely He must yearn to give His disciples above all else."

Food for thought indeed... to break through the mediocre faith and to die in order for Christ to have control.

8 months later....

Well it has been 8 whole months since my last post and I am a mother to another little boy who is now 3 and a half months old. Life has changed again and I find myself busier in some respects yet I have way too much time to think in others.....

I find that being a stay at home mum has its pros and cons. I wouldn't change the time I have with my boys for anything, but I also find it often leads me down the destructive path of self-pity. The thing I find hardest about not working is the isolation. I've never considered myself lonely at all, but I it hard when friendships seemingly dissolve due to change in life circumstances. Sometimes I'm left wondering if I am forgotten about by a lot of those who mean a lot to me. However, I'm also aware that I cause a lot of my own isolation by not putting myself out there due to my diminishing confidence.

So what am I going to do about it? I know the greatest way to stop thinking about myself is to focus on Jesus and think about others... So I'm wondering about going back to good old fashioned letter writing, as in snail mail. I would love to make my goal to write one letter a day for a year! Maybe through brightening up others lives it may just help my idle mind become focussed on something positive........

River of your delights

How precious is your steadfast love, O God!
The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house,
and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light do we see light.

~Psalm 36: 7-9

I want to drink from the river of your delights, Lord!

Waiting on God

This is what my Streams in the Desert devotional by Mrs CE Cowman says today about waiting on God...

"Blessed are all they that wait for him. Isaiah 30:18

We hear a great deal about waiting on God. There is, however, another side. When we wait on God, He is waiting till we are ready; when we wait for God, we are waiting till He is ready.

There are some people who say, and many more that believe, that until we meet all of the conditions, God will answer our prayers. They say that God lives in an eternal now; with him there is no past nor future; and that if we could fulfill all that He requires in the way of obedience to His will, immediately our needs will be supplied, our desires fulfilled, our prayers answered.

There is much truth in this belief, and yet it expresses only one side of the truth.While God lives in the eternal now, yet He works out His purpose in time. A petition presented before God is like a seed dropped into the ground. Forces above and beyond our control must work upon it, till the true fruition of the answer is given."