Fearfully and wonderfully made

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you.
When I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
~Psalm 139:13-16

So God created man in his own image
~Genesis 1:27

I am 17 weeks pregnant with baby number two and I have just begun to feel the little one kicking away inside of me. I love this part of the pregnancy when I am actually able to feel that there really is a little person growing inside of me and I haven't just been 'out of sorts' for months for no reason! I love being pregnant and think it is the greatest privilege bestowed upon women! I always picture God with his tiny little knitting needles knitting this new little person who is created in His own image. It excites me so much to imagine that this person that is as of yet unknown in this world is loved so utterly and completely by God. I recently came across the labour and birth record of Conrad's birth and reading it brought back such a joy at the miracle of new life; the labour and birth of my gorgeous boy was the greatest experience of my life- second only to my baptism. I can't wait to meet my new baby and see the new dimension they add to my beautiful family!

Teach me

Make me to know your paths, O Lord; teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
Psalm 25: 4-5

Sold out for God

Dear Friend

I want you to know that you are a precious child of God; a princess of the most high King. I hope that you will allow Him to transform you from the inside out and allow yourself to be an empty vessel for Him to use for His purpose and His glory.

There are two types of Christian's- those who are mediocre and want God to fit into their lives and want God to bless their lives and plans- or there are those who are prepared to lay down their lives completely at His disposal. In my opinion the second is the only option. It is a difficult, windy, lonely path that will take you through more desert places than mountain tops, yet it is by far the best path to take and the outcome will far outweigh the trials. I challenge you to have the courage to take the second road.

God's plans are perfect- there is no flaws whatsoever in His purpose no matter how much we may disagree. We have finite minds that can only comprehend things on a minuscule level in comparison to His knowledge. He has the whole picture; He has the benefit of seeing the past, the present and the future. He understands how our lives fit into the greater plan. Therefore I challenge you to trust that plan. He knows what He is doing; it is our role to submit to Him and allow Him to have His way.

I have been pondering the idea that life often seems like a play with everyone being an actor and trying to outdo each other by appearing to have everything together. We are broken, fallen, vulnerable human beings- all of us; none of us are exempt. This brokenness is the area that God will use to knit us to other humans in Him. We need to let our walls down and be open and honest with each other as that is the way to lead others to the Lord. We are all a work in progress and are in desperate need of our Saviour, Jesus. Never ever forget that. Also as sinful humans we cannot even trust ourselves as we are inherently wicked- we need Jesus every moment of everyday. Apart from Him we are deceptively wicked and fool ourselves and glorify ourselves instead of Him that truly deserves the glory and honour.

You are loved by a wonderful Saviour and He does have your best interests at heart- trust Him today and allow Him to manifest Himself in you. It will be worth it, I promise! You can help change the world- one person at a time and be used in this incredible way to help grow the kingdom of God. What a wonderful privilege it is to be used by the Creator of the universe!

With overwhelming love in Christ,

Your Christian sister

Humility: the beauty of holiness

I recently discovered a book called Humility: the beauty of holiness by Andrew Murray, which is possibly the most significant book I have ever encountered (apart from God's own inspired Word) that I know not only has the potential to change me, but also to change others also. This book is about our wicked selfish pride and the only way to truly be free of it is to lay down our lives and acknowledge we are nothing; of no value and there is nothing in us that is good. In order to be able to even begin to grasp the greatness of God we have to understand how unworthy we are of Him- only when we come to the end of ourselves can God begin to take up His rightful place in our hearts.

I was amazed to listen to this book - even as I heard about the wonderful humility of Christ prideful thoughts entered my head. While I have always been aware of the truth that I am a sinful human being- this book brought clarity to the depth of my own wickedness. The author suggests that pride is one of the most underrated sins, and yet the very reason the devil became a fallen angel was no other reason but pride. Adam and Eve chose to eat the forbidden fruit because of pride. The author says that when we are hurt, offended, bitter, jealous etc most often comes down to pride- because we value ourselves more highly than we ought.

Murray takes the reader on a journey through the Bible and shows that Jesus was humble, meek, gentle and lowly. Jesus continually referred to the lowly life- 'if you want to be first- you must be last'; 'if you want to be the greatest then you must be the servant'. Everything our culture associates with leadership and greatness is the complete opposite to the example Christ set for us. The author also says that not only do very few people ever achieve a life of humility, but very few even think about achieving a life of humility.

I want to be like Jesus and the pursuit of being humble like Jesus is the most difficult challenge I have been faced with. Sadly I like my 'self'. I'm so attached to my own sinful nature- yet I know if I am serious about my seeking of Him then I must lay down my own 'self' and desires so that Christ and Christ alone may live through me in all His fullness. The more there is of 'me' then the less there is of Christ or vice versa the more there is of Christ in my life the less there is of me.

I hope more people read or listen to this book. It's interesting how we assume that the more we see ourselves in the true light of just how dirty and wicked we are then the more depressed we feel, yet I have found listening to this book to be one of the most freeing and liberating experiences. Why? I think it is because only when we realise our true worth (we are nothing) and acknowledge God in His rightful place that it is how it is meant to be. God is God, we think we can do His job better but we were never designed to do His job so why not start seeking Him with everything inside of us; to follow Christ in His example of what it means to be humble, meek, gentle and lowly.

This book is in the public domain as it is over 100 years old and you can listen to it through librivox.org as an audio book http://librivox.org/humility-the-beauty-of-holiness/

Victory and obedience

So many thoughts are floating around in my mind at the moment! The two words that are on my mind frequently right now are victory and obedience. Especially with Easter having just happened I am reminded again that Christ already has the victory because of the cross, yet so often I find as Christian's it's so easy to have a defeatist attitude. If God doesn't answer our prayers quick enough or in the way we want it seems much easier to give up or develop the attitude that says 'well I'll pray but I don't really expect God to answer'. Christ HAS the victory! He has already WON the battle- period. I know if I truly lived my life in this knowledge it would transform my attitude towards everything.

Because of the cross of Jesus it is my responsibility to respond in obedience. Obedience is the only option...

Trust and obey
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus
But to trust and obey

God's way is not often our own

It's always interesting how we think things should be done one way which is often very very different to how they take place. After spending huge amounts of time in prayer and spiritual warfare over a friend's life (that has consequently also meant regular spiritual attacks), it is actually someone else having a greater impact in her life. I honestly struggle with this... considerably. No one but God and I really know the challenges and difficulties and battles I have had to face for this friend not to mention the risks and sacrifices involved. My wicked flesh cries out that I should be the one helping her... me me ME! How hard it is to accept God's will when it doesn't match our own. Amazingly though, the other person who is impacting her, and I, have said we should start praying together for this friend. Maybe... just maybe God has a greater plan and the outcome will far exceed my expectations and the expectations of all involved...

Lord forgive me for my unbelief. You are all knowing and you know the end from the beginning. Help me to trust you bring about your purpose in the way that brings the greatest honour and glory to your wonderful name. Amen.

The developing insanity of a stay at home mum aged 24 and 3/4

This is my take on Adrian Plass's Sacred Diaries.....

Night one trying to get my boy to go through the night without a feed: Fail. Miserable fail. Rudely awoken at 12.30am from heavy sleep by crying child. Didn't know if I was Arthur or Martha. Fluffed around getting to child. Child howling. Attempted to settle child in bed for approximately 2 seconds. Picked child up (fail #1). Child relaxed a bit. Put child back in bed. Child starts howling even more than previously. Picked child up again (fail #2). Child distraught. Kicking and screaming. Fed child (fail #3). Put child back to bed. Child howling again. Picked child up again (fail #4). Child kicking and screaming again. Husband came in. Decided child will need to be moved to another room to save the neighbours hearing everything. Child calmed down. Cuddled child. Put child to bed. Sat in room to make sure child settled. Child settled. Back to bed. Can't sleep. Currently 2am.....