A heart after His own

I am reading a book by Amy Carmichael "Gold Cord". There is a part that has moved me, she is quoting a letter she received:

"I have stood, as it were, on the edge of His sea of suffering, and have hastily diverted myself with something else, lest He should call me to enter that sea with Him. And yet there is nothing I long more to do. To me there is no more tragic sight than the average missionary. A Hindu bowing down to his idol leaves me unmoved beside it. We have given so much, yet not the one thing that counts; we aspire so high, and fall so low; we suffer so much, but so seldom with Christ; we have done so much, but so little will remain; we have known Christ in part, and have so effectively barricaded our hearts against His mighty love, which surely He must yearn to give His disciples above all else."

Food for thought indeed... to break through the mediocre faith and to die in order for Christ to have control.

8 months later....

Well it has been 8 whole months since my last post and I am a mother to another little boy who is now 3 and a half months old. Life has changed again and I find myself busier in some respects yet I have way too much time to think in others.....

I find that being a stay at home mum has its pros and cons. I wouldn't change the time I have with my boys for anything, but I also find it often leads me down the destructive path of self-pity. The thing I find hardest about not working is the isolation. I've never considered myself lonely at all, but I it hard when friendships seemingly dissolve due to change in life circumstances. Sometimes I'm left wondering if I am forgotten about by a lot of those who mean a lot to me. However, I'm also aware that I cause a lot of my own isolation by not putting myself out there due to my diminishing confidence.

So what am I going to do about it? I know the greatest way to stop thinking about myself is to focus on Jesus and think about others... So I'm wondering about going back to good old fashioned letter writing, as in snail mail. I would love to make my goal to write one letter a day for a year! Maybe through brightening up others lives it may just help my idle mind become focussed on something positive........