Lord, protect our children

"Father, hear us, we are praying,
Hear the words our hearts are saying,
We are praying for our children.

Keep them from the powers of evil,
From the secret, hidden peril,
Father, hear us for our children.

From the whirlwind that would suck them,
From the treacherous quicksand, pluck them,
Father, hear us for our children.

From the worldling's hollow gladness,
From the sting of faithless sadness,
Father, Father, keep our children.

Through life's troubled waters steer them,
Through life bitter battle cheer them,
Father, Father, be Thou near them.

Read the language of our longing,
Read the wordless pleading thronging,
Holy Father, for our children.

And wherever they may bide,
Lead them Home at eventide."

Amy Carmichael - The Gold Cord

I often wonder how to effectively pray for my boys... this sums it up beautifully. I look at my boys, so young, so innocent and I am aware that they will one day be exposed to this wicked world and most importantly the fallen wickedness inside themselves. I pray that God would always have them in his care and he would lead them home one day.

Times and Seasons

"He changes times and seasons" Daniel 2:21

I believe my life is moving into a new season and while a part of me wants to cling to the previous season this verse brought me much relief to think that actually this is God's will... He changes times and seasons. He is in control. There is always an element of grief with the ending of one season and moving into a new one. I feel somewhat torn... one side of me wants to cling to the last season in fear of what the future holds and another part of looks with hope to the future and what goodness there is to come.

I know a new season is beginning in my heart as I try to rid myself of the deep selfishness that so often has control within me and to allow God to have his way once again.

Amy Carmichael's wisdom was once again entirely relevant this morning...
"It is not a little matter to leave all- all of self, its desires, pride and ways. But if we do we shall find all that our Lord has to give us. Do we want to live this life? Are we earnest about it? Or do we still want to hold on to the wretched rags of self and self-pleasing? God can deliver us from these, and strengthen us in very truth to leave all, that we may find all."

It seems so foolish to think this world has something worthwhile to offer. Oh to find my identity completely in the One who created me and knows me deeper than anyone can ever know me. He knows the good and bad yet loves me unconditionally despite it all! That truth brings comfort and peace. Thank you Jesus!

Psalm 1

Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

Back on track...

After getting out of my bible reading routine (and consequently becoming distanced from Him) I opened the Word of God today with a receptive heart and he has spoken so clearly through Jeremiah 17...

"Cursed is the man who trusts in man
and makes flesh his strength,
whose heart turns away from the Lord.
He is like a shrub in the desert,
and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
in an uninhabited salt land." vs 5-6

This pretty much explains the place I have been in for many months now... looking to people for help, love and acceptance. Of course these are things that can only be perfectly done by God alone. No one else can fill my deepest desires or answer my prayers.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat come,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit." vs 7-8

This is the place I long to be in! A tree nourished by living waters that remains unharmed no matter what the weather conditions throw at it. Roots that go so deep that nothing can move it ever.

"The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it?
I the Lord search the heart
and test the mind,
to every man according to his ways,
according to the fruit of his deeds." vs 9-10

I cannot trust myself and the ever fleeting emotions that come and go. My heart is "desperately sick" and the only cure is my Lord Jesus coming in and taking His rightful place in my heart. Ah the beauty of having a heart beating in tune with His own... May this always be my aim, each and every day. Now that my bible is open once again I hope it never closes and I long to drink in the delights and chastisement needed to refine and purify my wicked being to be perfected in Him.

"A glorious throne set on high from the beginning
is the place of our sanctuary...
Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed;
save me, and I shall be saved,
for you are my praise." vs 12, 14

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14

Seeking approval

Amy Carmichael's wisdom again...

"If the praise of others elates me...
if the blame of others depresses me...
if I cannot rest when I am misunderstood, without defending myself...
if I love to be loved, more than to give love...
if I love to be served, more than serving...
then I know nothing of Calvary's love"

Talk about get me where it hurts! Ah to know Calvary's love, my heart's greatest desire!

A heart after His own

I am reading a book by Amy Carmichael "Gold Cord". There is a part that has moved me, she is quoting a letter she received:

"I have stood, as it were, on the edge of His sea of suffering, and have hastily diverted myself with something else, lest He should call me to enter that sea with Him. And yet there is nothing I long more to do. To me there is no more tragic sight than the average missionary. A Hindu bowing down to his idol leaves me unmoved beside it. We have given so much, yet not the one thing that counts; we aspire so high, and fall so low; we suffer so much, but so seldom with Christ; we have done so much, but so little will remain; we have known Christ in part, and have so effectively barricaded our hearts against His mighty love, which surely He must yearn to give His disciples above all else."

Food for thought indeed... to break through the mediocre faith and to die in order for Christ to have control.

8 months later....

Well it has been 8 whole months since my last post and I am a mother to another little boy who is now 3 and a half months old. Life has changed again and I find myself busier in some respects yet I have way too much time to think in others.....

I find that being a stay at home mum has its pros and cons. I wouldn't change the time I have with my boys for anything, but I also find it often leads me down the destructive path of self-pity. The thing I find hardest about not working is the isolation. I've never considered myself lonely at all, but I it hard when friendships seemingly dissolve due to change in life circumstances. Sometimes I'm left wondering if I am forgotten about by a lot of those who mean a lot to me. However, I'm also aware that I cause a lot of my own isolation by not putting myself out there due to my diminishing confidence.

So what am I going to do about it? I know the greatest way to stop thinking about myself is to focus on Jesus and think about others... So I'm wondering about going back to good old fashioned letter writing, as in snail mail. I would love to make my goal to write one letter a day for a year! Maybe through brightening up others lives it may just help my idle mind become focussed on something positive........