River of your delights

How precious is your steadfast love, O God!
The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They feast on the abundance of your house,
and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light do we see light.

~Psalm 36: 7-9

I want to drink from the river of your delights, Lord!

Waiting on God

This is what my Streams in the Desert devotional by Mrs CE Cowman says today about waiting on God...

"Blessed are all they that wait for him. Isaiah 30:18

We hear a great deal about waiting on God. There is, however, another side. When we wait on God, He is waiting till we are ready; when we wait for God, we are waiting till He is ready.

There are some people who say, and many more that believe, that until we meet all of the conditions, God will answer our prayers. They say that God lives in an eternal now; with him there is no past nor future; and that if we could fulfill all that He requires in the way of obedience to His will, immediately our needs will be supplied, our desires fulfilled, our prayers answered.

There is much truth in this belief, and yet it expresses only one side of the truth.While God lives in the eternal now, yet He works out His purpose in time. A petition presented before God is like a seed dropped into the ground. Forces above and beyond our control must work upon it, till the true fruition of the answer is given."

The Steadfast Love of the Lord

Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous!
Praise befits the upright.
Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre;
make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!
Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.

For the word of the Lord is upright,
and all his work is done in faithfulness.
He loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of the steadfast love of the Lord.

By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
and by the breath of his mouth all their host.
He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap;
he puts the deep in storehouses.

Let all the earth fear the Lord;
let all the inhabitants stand in awe of him!
For he spoke, and it came to be;
he commanded, and it stood firm.

The Lord brings the counsel of the nations to nothing;
he frustrates the plans of the peoples.
The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
the plans of his heart to all generations.
Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!

The Lord looks down from heaven and
he sees all the children of man;
from where he sits enthroned he looks out
on all inhabitants of the earth,
he who fashions the hearts of them all
and observes all their deeds.
The king is not saved by his great army;
a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.
The war horse is a false hope for salvation,
and by its great might it cannot rescue.

Behold the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,
on those who hope in his steadfast love,
that he may deliver the soul from death
and keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him,
because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,
even as we hope in you.

~ Psalm 33

What a refreshing psalm for this new day! Sing to him a new song... his work is done in faithfulness... let all the earth stand in awe of him!.. the counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations... he is our help and shield... our heart is glad in him. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful... What a wonderful God we serve!

Spring is in the air!!!

Ahh it's the 1st of September and the first official day of spring! It also happens to be a stunningly beautiful day with a crispness in the air! I love spring; everything about spring excites me. The transition between winter and summer is such a special time of growth and renewal and rebirth. I think the beginning of spring always places a new hope inside of me and a new song in my heart! As I was reading my Psalm for the day I was filled with joy:

Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes in the morning...
You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
you have loosed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness,
that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!

~Psalm 30:4-5, 11-12

I hope this spring brings a new season in my heart; a new start, a new beginning. I'm so grateful we have the opportunity to start afresh in the Lord! What a blessing!

Fearfully and wonderfully made

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you.
When I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
~Psalm 139:13-16

So God created man in his own image
~Genesis 1:27

I am 17 weeks pregnant with baby number two and I have just begun to feel the little one kicking away inside of me. I love this part of the pregnancy when I am actually able to feel that there really is a little person growing inside of me and I haven't just been 'out of sorts' for months for no reason! I love being pregnant and think it is the greatest privilege bestowed upon women! I always picture God with his tiny little knitting needles knitting this new little person who is created in His own image. It excites me so much to imagine that this person that is as of yet unknown in this world is loved so utterly and completely by God. I recently came across the labour and birth record of Conrad's birth and reading it brought back such a joy at the miracle of new life; the labour and birth of my gorgeous boy was the greatest experience of my life- second only to my baptism. I can't wait to meet my new baby and see the new dimension they add to my beautiful family!

Teach me

Make me to know your paths, O Lord; teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
Psalm 25: 4-5

Sold out for God

Dear Friend

I want you to know that you are a precious child of God; a princess of the most high King. I hope that you will allow Him to transform you from the inside out and allow yourself to be an empty vessel for Him to use for His purpose and His glory.

There are two types of Christian's- those who are mediocre and want God to fit into their lives and want God to bless their lives and plans- or there are those who are prepared to lay down their lives completely at His disposal. In my opinion the second is the only option. It is a difficult, windy, lonely path that will take you through more desert places than mountain tops, yet it is by far the best path to take and the outcome will far outweigh the trials. I challenge you to have the courage to take the second road.

God's plans are perfect- there is no flaws whatsoever in His purpose no matter how much we may disagree. We have finite minds that can only comprehend things on a minuscule level in comparison to His knowledge. He has the whole picture; He has the benefit of seeing the past, the present and the future. He understands how our lives fit into the greater plan. Therefore I challenge you to trust that plan. He knows what He is doing; it is our role to submit to Him and allow Him to have His way.

I have been pondering the idea that life often seems like a play with everyone being an actor and trying to outdo each other by appearing to have everything together. We are broken, fallen, vulnerable human beings- all of us; none of us are exempt. This brokenness is the area that God will use to knit us to other humans in Him. We need to let our walls down and be open and honest with each other as that is the way to lead others to the Lord. We are all a work in progress and are in desperate need of our Saviour, Jesus. Never ever forget that. Also as sinful humans we cannot even trust ourselves as we are inherently wicked- we need Jesus every moment of everyday. Apart from Him we are deceptively wicked and fool ourselves and glorify ourselves instead of Him that truly deserves the glory and honour.

You are loved by a wonderful Saviour and He does have your best interests at heart- trust Him today and allow Him to manifest Himself in you. It will be worth it, I promise! You can help change the world- one person at a time and be used in this incredible way to help grow the kingdom of God. What a wonderful privilege it is to be used by the Creator of the universe!

With overwhelming love in Christ,

Your Christian sister

Humility: the beauty of holiness

I recently discovered a book called Humility: the beauty of holiness by Andrew Murray, which is possibly the most significant book I have ever encountered (apart from God's own inspired Word) that I know not only has the potential to change me, but also to change others also. This book is about our wicked selfish pride and the only way to truly be free of it is to lay down our lives and acknowledge we are nothing; of no value and there is nothing in us that is good. In order to be able to even begin to grasp the greatness of God we have to understand how unworthy we are of Him- only when we come to the end of ourselves can God begin to take up His rightful place in our hearts.

I was amazed to listen to this book - even as I heard about the wonderful humility of Christ prideful thoughts entered my head. While I have always been aware of the truth that I am a sinful human being- this book brought clarity to the depth of my own wickedness. The author suggests that pride is one of the most underrated sins, and yet the very reason the devil became a fallen angel was no other reason but pride. Adam and Eve chose to eat the forbidden fruit because of pride. The author says that when we are hurt, offended, bitter, jealous etc most often comes down to pride- because we value ourselves more highly than we ought.

Murray takes the reader on a journey through the Bible and shows that Jesus was humble, meek, gentle and lowly. Jesus continually referred to the lowly life- 'if you want to be first- you must be last'; 'if you want to be the greatest then you must be the servant'. Everything our culture associates with leadership and greatness is the complete opposite to the example Christ set for us. The author also says that not only do very few people ever achieve a life of humility, but very few even think about achieving a life of humility.

I want to be like Jesus and the pursuit of being humble like Jesus is the most difficult challenge I have been faced with. Sadly I like my 'self'. I'm so attached to my own sinful nature- yet I know if I am serious about my seeking of Him then I must lay down my own 'self' and desires so that Christ and Christ alone may live through me in all His fullness. The more there is of 'me' then the less there is of Christ or vice versa the more there is of Christ in my life the less there is of me.

I hope more people read or listen to this book. It's interesting how we assume that the more we see ourselves in the true light of just how dirty and wicked we are then the more depressed we feel, yet I have found listening to this book to be one of the most freeing and liberating experiences. Why? I think it is because only when we realise our true worth (we are nothing) and acknowledge God in His rightful place that it is how it is meant to be. God is God, we think we can do His job better but we were never designed to do His job so why not start seeking Him with everything inside of us; to follow Christ in His example of what it means to be humble, meek, gentle and lowly.

This book is in the public domain as it is over 100 years old and you can listen to it through librivox.org as an audio book http://librivox.org/humility-the-beauty-of-holiness/

Victory and obedience

So many thoughts are floating around in my mind at the moment! The two words that are on my mind frequently right now are victory and obedience. Especially with Easter having just happened I am reminded again that Christ already has the victory because of the cross, yet so often I find as Christian's it's so easy to have a defeatist attitude. If God doesn't answer our prayers quick enough or in the way we want it seems much easier to give up or develop the attitude that says 'well I'll pray but I don't really expect God to answer'. Christ HAS the victory! He has already WON the battle- period. I know if I truly lived my life in this knowledge it would transform my attitude towards everything.

Because of the cross of Jesus it is my responsibility to respond in obedience. Obedience is the only option...

Trust and obey
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus
But to trust and obey

God's way is not often our own

It's always interesting how we think things should be done one way which is often very very different to how they take place. After spending huge amounts of time in prayer and spiritual warfare over a friend's life (that has consequently also meant regular spiritual attacks), it is actually someone else having a greater impact in her life. I honestly struggle with this... considerably. No one but God and I really know the challenges and difficulties and battles I have had to face for this friend not to mention the risks and sacrifices involved. My wicked flesh cries out that I should be the one helping her... me me ME! How hard it is to accept God's will when it doesn't match our own. Amazingly though, the other person who is impacting her, and I, have said we should start praying together for this friend. Maybe... just maybe God has a greater plan and the outcome will far exceed my expectations and the expectations of all involved...

Lord forgive me for my unbelief. You are all knowing and you know the end from the beginning. Help me to trust you bring about your purpose in the way that brings the greatest honour and glory to your wonderful name. Amen.

The developing insanity of a stay at home mum aged 24 and 3/4

This is my take on Adrian Plass's Sacred Diaries.....

Night one trying to get my boy to go through the night without a feed: Fail. Miserable fail. Rudely awoken at 12.30am from heavy sleep by crying child. Didn't know if I was Arthur or Martha. Fluffed around getting to child. Child howling. Attempted to settle child in bed for approximately 2 seconds. Picked child up (fail #1). Child relaxed a bit. Put child back in bed. Child starts howling even more than previously. Picked child up again (fail #2). Child distraught. Kicking and screaming. Fed child (fail #3). Put child back to bed. Child howling again. Picked child up again (fail #4). Child kicking and screaming again. Husband came in. Decided child will need to be moved to another room to save the neighbours hearing everything. Child calmed down. Cuddled child. Put child to bed. Sat in room to make sure child settled. Child settled. Back to bed. Can't sleep. Currently 2am.....

Lead me to the cross

Saviour I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and tried
You are
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
(Brooke Fraser)

The B-I-B-L-E yes that's the book for me!!

I remember singing that above song at Sunday school. "The B-I-B-L-E yes that's the book for me, I'll read each day and then obey, the B-I-B-L-E"

Well I am currently on such a high after speaking to a good friend of mine who is not yet a Christian but is telling all her friends and family about God!! It always inspires me the passion of people who are on their way to becoming a Christian- the excitement of learning all about God- then of course the joy of them becoming a Christian and the beginning of their new journey with God! As I spoke to this friend I was amazed to hear that her and a family member are fighting over who gets to read the bible each day as they both want to read it so much! They are going to church and loving it and making connections between what they are reading in the bible each day and what they are hearing in church each week! Wow! I think that puts a lot of Christians to shame (me included) as I know a lot of Christians don't read their bibles often and if they do it can easily be seen as a chore (I am regularly guilty of this!)! I remember when I was on a trip to Fiji one sermon I heard always stuck with me (the guy talked for over an hour- but I could have kept listening!) and he kept saying over and over (while holding up a bible) 'This is the word of God'... 'This is the word of God'.. etc It truly is the word of God yet I know so often we forget the incredible significance of this book that holds the truth. It's the map of life telling us how to live. It is also filled with a lot of the most beautiful writings ever written. I remember reading somewhere that the bible is a love letter written by God to His beloved children. Wow!! I think I may get my bible out again and re-read my daily readings...

Disruptions...

Occasionally I find that God brings people into my life to disrupt it; to disrupt the perfect little sheltered existence I have created for myself. These people shake me up and down and challenge me to the core. There is nothing more frustrating than this!! It is so unsettling. A part of me wishes that I could back off and have nothing to do with these people when they come along, but I feel God challenging me to keep giving and keep praying and keep giving some more. Keep giving even when it hurts.

I find that I often have just one or two people on my heart to pray for when it dawns on me that others around me that need prayer too. I also have been finding that the more my heart begins to break for a few people, the more the wound opens up towards others too and the more opportunities arise to speak to different people about God! I sense Him placing a deeper burden on my heart towards others, although I still question 'who am I' that He would use me. I feel so weak and vulnerable and delicate and inadequate, yet for some strange reason He has a plan and purpose specifically designed for me- a path set out for me and only me.... Again I am left in awe of my almighty heavenly Father.....

Who am I?

This morning at church I was surprised to find not one but two friends there who don't normally come. It was such a blessing to see them both there! It has made me reflect on the fact that God has been using me in others' lives, but really who am I that he would use me? It amazes me that God would stoop down to use me for His purpose. I want others to know Him because I know He is real and He is the way, the truth and the life because of what He has done in my own life. How I long to see those I love to have lives saturated in His goodness and love; for them to know how dearly He loves them and for them to love Him in return. I'm just so grateful to God for answering my prayers and most importantly for making me His own. This song was played during the offering today- I especially love the part in bold:


Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Back to basics

I think from time to time it is important to get back to basics and reassess priorities: what am I spending my time on and what should I be spending my time on? I find myself in this place at the moment. I think it is always one of the times God chooses to prune us back (He is the Vine and we are the branches-John 15) and make us realise the ways we have fallen short of what He wants for us. He gently points out the areas that aren't of Him or the things I have taken into my own hands when He should have control. This is always a painful process having the ugly parts removed, but it is all for a good cause as it means it will be replaced by the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & self-control). I always find these times hard and frustrating to a certain extent, but at the same time it is so precious listening to that still, sweet voice calling me back to Himself.

Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light
Matthew 11:28-30

A song I currently have in my head says this:

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust
(Reuben Morgan)

I think being hidden in Christ is the most beautiful place to be.

My prayer today

This prayer of Mother Teresa's I make my own today:

Deliver me, O Jesus:
From the desire of being esteemed
From the desire of being loved
From the desire of being honored
From the desire of being praised
From the desire of being preferred to others
From the desire of being consulted
From the desire of being approved
From the desire of being popular.

Deliver me, O Jesus:
From the fear of being humiliated
From the fear of being despised
From the fear of being rebuked
From the fear of being slandered
From the fear of being forgotten
From the fear of being wronged
From the fear of being treated unfairly
From the fear of being suspected

Do I really care?

With the recent destructive earthquake in Haiti a couple of weeks ago, I have been wondering if I really care or if I care enough. Hundreds of thousands of people are dead, thousands of children orphaned and possibly as many as a million left homeless! My mind can't even comprehend those sort of numbers! Healthcare, food and drinking water are all scarce. I lay in bed a few nights ago wondering if I could cope without drinking water. The thought of not having clean water to drink actually leaves me feeling quite anxious! I keep thinking I should care, I should, I should, I should and I do to a certain extent but not nearly enough.

The only movie I ever recall crying in was Hotel Rwanda which was based on a true story of the Rwandan Genocide (as many as a million people were killed when the Hutu tribe turned against the Tutsis) when a local hotel manager used his hotel as a safe place for some of the Tutsi people to stay. One part of that movie has always stayed with me... a foreign reporter (English I think) and cameraman were talking to the hotel manager about what was happening in his country. The hotel manager was really pleased and grateful that the rest of the world would hear about what is happening to them. The reporter sadly responded that people watching their story would probably look up from their dinner say "oh how sad" and continue eating as if nothing of significance was happening.

That has often haunted me because it is exactly what I do when I'm watching the news. I think we become so used to seeing one disaster after another that we just get numbed to really feeling much at all. I think probably even more than that it shows the depth of my own selfishness and 'the world revolves around me' mindset. Unless something directly involves us in some way there just seems to be this indepth belief that says 'it's got nothing to do with me' and just carrying on living as normal even though there has millions of lives forever affected by these tragedies.

I'm a person who is genuinely happy and enjoys life (most of the time!), but I've been thinking more and more lately that it isn't really about being 'happy'. As a Christian I've often had this misunderstanding that in order for others to want to know the Lord we need to be happy- I do think we should have the "Joy of the Lord" in our hearts, but I think that our witness is the greatest when we are broken. When we are hurting and broken it is often when God does his greatest work in us and it's through these times we have a greater ability to speak into other people's lives. One hymn says it like this:

Is the midnight closing round you?
Are the shadows dark and long?
Ask him to come close beside you,
And He'll give you a new, sweet song.
He'll give it and sing it with you;
And when weakness lets it down,
He'll take up the broken cadence,
and blend it with his own.

And many a rapturous minstrel
Among those sons of night,
Will say of his sweetest music
"I learned it in the night"
And many a rolling anthem,
That fills the Father's home,
Sobbed out its first rehearsal,
In the shade of a darkened room.

I know our own small country- even though we are a long way from the rest of the world- has had its tragedies and will no doubt have more tragedies. I will one day be affected- I am not exempt. I hope God will give me a greater burden for those things that go on around me- disasters, people going through personal tragedies etc. I want to be a woman after God's own heart; what breaks His heart should break mine also.

My beautiful boy...

What a wonderful privilege it is to be a mother! I can't think of a greater blessing than to have carried this little person inside of me and then welcomed him into the world, watch him grow and celebrate every little milestone. I love him more each day as I watch his personality begin to shine out more and more.

Recently he has started having these episodes when he goes quiet, looks panicked and can't cry out for some reason. I took him to the doctor and we currently have appointments to see a paediatrician and to have some tests done. While it doesn't concern me too much because he seems fine the rest of the time, it is quite scary to think that there could be something wrong. I guess when I start to think about it (not really a good thing to do!) it dawns on me just how attached I am to this little boy. The highlights of my day include getting him out of his cot after each sleep when he greets me with a massive grin, or when he places his soft little hand on mine which never ceases to make my heart melt, or his latest favourite thing is looking full into mine or my husband's faces and holding our face in his hands. Without a doubt the thing I adore the most is watching my darling and our little boy together- it's so precious to see their special bond and hearing the giggles that happen as a result!

Well whatever will be, will be! I'm just so grateful that we can lean on our Lord and trust Him! The bible verses that I have probably recalled more than any other in my life say this:

Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything through prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving
let your requests be known to God.
And the peace of God
that surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus
Philippians 4:6-7

Loving others

I find that occasionally I come across people who have this aura of beauty and friendliness about them which leaves me thinking that I really would love to have that in my own life. I can think of one person in particular who has this affect on me. She is a beautiful Christian woman who hasn't had an easy life and yet she truly treats every person like they are a loved child of God; someone who is worth loving. I, on the other hand, tell God on a regular basis that it would be easier to love if he didn't create human beings. Yeah I reckon it would be easy to love if there were no people... Why is it so hard to love others? I guess for starters we are all broken, fallen human beings. To love means to get involved in someone else's issues- how much easier is it to just shut up shop and become an island? Do your own thing- keep your eyes down when you're walking- never ever use eye contact when talking to someone because horror of all horrors you may actually connect with another human being?!

A few months back when I was grappling with the decision as to whether I should throw myself into a couple of friendships to a deeper level or not, I kept wondering if I was going to get hurt. Then God very clearly told me that He created me for relationship. He created me for relationship with Him and relationship with others; to love Him and love others. And I of course in my pitiful state was like (in my most whiny 'thought' voice) "but God what if I get hurt again?" and He just said "I'll be here for you- like I've always been". With this 'new-found' knowledge (I think I'm a bit slow really!) I was contemplating just how much I had isolated myself and avoided close friendships. Sure I had 380+ friends on facebook, but how many did I really know? Maybe a handful... if that?! About half an hour after I started pondering this topic my husband arrived home with a package for me which was a book of mine that I had lent to a friend. I opened to the front page and read this:

Computers process our thoughts and link us throughout the globe.
Although wires and satellites connect us, ours is still a very lonely,
isolated society. While the internet in some ways unites us,
in so many ways we are disconnected at the heart.
The fast pace of our days denies us the basic need and privilege of
communication at its deepest levels.

A little further on the author Donna Greene had written a poem. This is the first verse:

Love one another deeply and from the heart-
A command from God- a blessing- an art
Vulnerability, nakedness- joy and pain
Awkwardness to openness-no loss- great gain
Walls so impenetrable box us in-
Separate, isolate, and closet our sin.
What a waste, a vapor, a facade-
Never the plan of our infinite God.

I was beginning to see what God was saying! It's certainly one thing to know about loving people in theory but in practice it isn't so easy! Something tells me that this will be a lifelong journey learning to love as Christ loved. He gave up His life for me! Would I be prepared to do that for someone else?! Maybe I would for a family member or very close friend, but what about someone who isn't so easy to love? Christ died for those who are difficult to love just as much as he died for me! How I hope that I will one day have an aura of love about me because I am so in tune with Him who IS love....

Beloved Light

The reason I titled my blog "Beloved Light" is because it is the meaning of my name Amy Helen. It makes me think of my Lord who is "my light and my salvation". The meanings of names and why people are named certain names has always been a topic that interests me. My little boy Conrad Anthony Isaac was named after a great great grandfather from Alistair's side and also after my father (Isaac was a biblical name that I felt should be in there too). It means "wise advisor" and "highly praiseworthy" which I think put together means integrity! How I hope that my little boy will one day be a man of integrity!

My own name is after Amy Carmichael, who was from Ireland but went as a missionary to India and saved hundreds of girls from the evils of temple prostitution (many parents sold their daughters to the temple as babies as they couldn't afford to marry them off later on down the track). And my middle name Helen was after my great-grandmother (she died before I was born) who was the person who led my mother to the Lord. I remember some elderly relatives telling me that my great grandmother Helen was one of the most loving women they had ever known- they said that you just walked into her house and felt the warmth and love! How blessed I am to have such a godly heritage to live up to. I recently copied a poem into my journal by Amy Carmichael- here is the final verse:

Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay,
The hope no disappointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire;
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.

The name I love most of all though is the name of Jesus! And I am who I am because of Him. I have an identity and purpose thanks to Jesus adopting me into His family! I am thinking of songs about his name- can only think of four off the top of my head!

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
there's just something about that name,
Master, Saviour, Jesus,
like the fragrance after the rain"

"Jesus, what a beautiful name
Truth revealed, my future sealed
Healed my pain
Love and freedom, life and warmth
Grace that blows all fear away
Jesus, what a beautiful name"
(Darlene Zschech)

"No other name, no one the same
Who can be found to compare with you
Mighty and great are the works you do
You're my God, You're my Lord
You've redeemed me by the power of blood
And I love you Jesus Christ my King"

"There's no other name but this name,
And no other name will do.
There's no other name but Jesus
For folk like me and you
For no other name brings pardon
And sets everybody free
There's no other name but Jesus
For you and me"
(John Gowans)

It truly is the most beautiful name- Jesus. And the thing that amazes me the most is that he knows my name! A song we sung at church on Sunday said "He knows my name, He knows my every thought, He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call". I think there is nothing more humbling to know than the fact that the Creator of the universe is interested in me. His thoughts of me are greater than the grains of sand on the earth as it says in Psalm 139:17-18! How I long for everyone to know how much He loves them too!

New beginnings...

Well it is the beginning of a new year (well nearly the end of the first month of the new year!!) which always signifies a new start; an opportunity to start afresh. So as a part of this new year I will commence my blog, don't know why I haven't done a blog before considering I have journalled as long as I can remember.

New beginnings... It always conjures up thoughts filled with hope for the future! What will the future hold?! It's probably a good thing we don't know the answer to that as I know I probably would want to run a million miles away to avoid the hard times if I knew what would happen in advance- fortunately God provides the grace necessary when it is needed (2 Corinthians 12:9)!

5 months ago my husband and I got to welcome our little boy into the world which has been a new beginning that never ceases to blow my mind! The whole journey from trying to conceive, getting pregnant, the pregnancy itself, giving birth and getting to know our gorgeous little boy has been the best experience of my life! What a privilege it is to watch this little boy develop into the person God wants him to be! Already God is using him in ways that amaze me: him coming into this world has opened up the door to a number of friendships that probably wouldn't have happened (or wouldn't have been as close) had it not been for my little boy!

Another new beginning that recently happened was my sister getting married! What a joy to see her marry her best friend and begin their lives together. It will be so exciting to watch them grow as a couple. Wish they lived closer though- won't see them often :(

Well new beginnings always excite me- makes me feel so grateful to my Saviour for washing me white as snow and letting me start afresh....